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Who’s in Charge? You or Your Feelings?

Oct 14, 2020

Who’s in Charge? You or Your Feelings?

Many people allow their feelings to run their lives.  When your feelings run the show you can expect to live on a roller coaster of emotion where your feelings dictate your behavior and actions.

This also has a huge impact on your results.  

If you are interested in creating an extraordinary life, it’s vital to examine where you allow your feelings to dictate your actions and create commitments that will stabilize emotion and move you consistently towards the feelings and experiences you TRULY want.

So, how do you keep the feelings in check?

It’s incredibly helpful to create commitments that keep you in alignment with your bigger goals. Because on any given day, your feelings can travel all over the place.

It’s your commitments that will ground you in action.  If you know what you’re committed to, then you can show up and honor that commitment even when you don’t feel so inclined.

*This isn’t about ignoring your feelings.  Feelings are important and are to be acknowledged, however, when they consistently run the show – they impede progress on our larger dreams and goals.

By doing so, you eliminate all the overthinking of whether you should, could, or want to. The next thing you know, you’re in action, then the action is complete and things are one step closer to that commitment or desired outcome.

This works!

Dive into these journaling prompts to get clear on what you are committed to:

  • What area of life do you want to focus on?
  • What do you REALLY want for this area of your life?
  • Where do your feelings/emotions throw you off?
  • What commitments can you make that will uphold the vision you have?
  • How will showing up to these commitments allow you to thrive in this area?
  • What would be possible if you showed up consistently to your commitments for a month, 6 months, a year?
  • How can you set yourself up for success?

Here’s an example of how to go about answering these prompts:
Area of life: 

  • Physical Health Desire: To feel energized and healthy (regular exercise + healthier eating)
  • Emotions:  My feelings of being tired, sad, lazy get in the way and I just give myself an out every time.
  • Commitment:  Create an accountability partner for 3x a week.  Shop for the entire week + plan meals. Go to bed at a more consistent time. These commitments will put into place simple things that will make it easier to stay on track and help me to keep the promises I make to myself.
  • Consistency:  I would feel great if I followed through on this for a month.  If I did this for 6 months – I would feel amazing – physically and I’m thinking my confidence would go way up!
  • Success:  I will make a sticky note on my bathroom mirror so that I read it every day.  Set up my accountability partner today.  Celebrate every small win with something meaningful.

How might your day, week, or life be different if you woke up with your big commitments in place, and then lined up your actions accordingly?

The trick here is that your feelings WILL show up and try to derail you; your job is to return to your commitments again and again and simply take the next action in the face of your feelings.

This is about progress, not perfection.

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“Carla and I had an instant connection. On the surface, I had everything going for me. I was doing well in my career, I had recently come out to my family and was welcomed with open arms, I was in a healthy relationship, and I had just finished an Ironman triathlon. But internally, I was in a constant state of angst. Was I in the right career? Was this one the right one? Carla helped equip me with the tools I needed to understand not only why I felt a certain way but also why I act the way I do. We then created a better version of myself to navigate life.”

– Will B.
“From professional discussions to personal development, the tools I learned throughout my work with Carla has helped me deepen relationships, let go of stress and find presence and energy. Coaching from Carla has allowed me to see situations in a clear light due to the thought process I’m practicing regularly. I would suggest Carla and her coaching to anyone that is looking to stretch his or her mindset, abilities and wants to better him or herself.”

– Cara L.
“Before coaching with Carla, I was stuck in a rut- telling myself old stories that were holding me back- spiraling in negative self-talk. I believed that my worth was tied to my vocation.
Over the course of 3 months, I gained a renewed confidence in myself, my work, and my relationships. I learned how to change my steps, unravel old stories and be honest about what I want to shift and now I’m experiencing a wave of growth like never before. I’m sticking up for myself and showing others how I’d like to be treated. I’m genuinely able to help friends and family again-not because I want something in return, but because I truly want them to succeed. I’m showing up for myself and others and it feels good. That’s probably the biggest take-away. I feel good.”

– Frances K.
“This work is like having a constant hand on your back supporting you. Carla is nurturing, kind and caring. More importantly she has a way of simplifying things that feel big and heavy and helping you see them in a way that is light and empowering. She has so many tools in her arsenal and really caters her guidance based on your needs.

Prior to working with Carla I felt like my life was slipping away and I was on the sidelines watching it. After re-framing old thinking and creating my commitments, I feel connected to others and have deeper relationships with husband, kids and friends. I am experiencing my life and living intentionally. It’s something that I have to work on daily, but it’s getting easier and more natural.”

– Lyndsay C.
“I have had my eyes opened to an entirely new way of thinking. Carla helped me uncover what was causing many of the challenges in my professional and personal life. With Carla’s insight, coaching framework and ongoing guidance we worked toward a new solution that helped me overcome these challenges and let go of the guilt, frustration and disappointment I was constantly feeling. We got to the root of these deeper feelings and I took actionable steps to take back control. As a result, I was able to nearly immediately increase two client retainers, strengthen my relationships with clients and most importantly be happier in my daily routines.”

– Karen C.
“Carla has been a tremendous blessing in my life. She provides the words of wisdom that I know I need but sometimes have trouble finding within myself. Our multi-year journey has brought me order, direction, vision, and happiness. From running a company to improving important relationships, Carla has been a steadfast sage and source of comfort. I recommend her to anyone I can.”

– Teddy Jones
“Working with Carla is like going on vacation. I can see things more clearly and think outside myself. She brings out these good thoughts in me and helps me move my life forward.”

– Heather L.
“Even after working w/ Carla for 2 years, I still feel like each session I have with her results in a positive shift in my perspective. The tools she has taught me have become indispensable in my efforts to build a truly unique life.”

– William Crouse, Producer
“My life before coaching was unbalanced, out of control and I felt overwhelmed. I have always been positive and focused and in control so these feelings were very challenging. I went through some life changing events and was struggling to move forward. I worked through old pain, to think differently, and relieve myself of unnecessary pressures that were weighing me down and holding me back. My relationships grew stronger. I became happier and more focused, balanced and content. I feel like a better version of myself.”

– Stacy M.
“Carla’s coaching increased my professional productivity and enhanced my personal awareness enormously. Our sessions provide me with clarity about the most important things in my life and how to achieve them. Carla is a phenomenal and passionate coach who brings a unique perspective to every eye-opening encounter — the way you think about your life, changes your life!”

– Judith M., Sculptor
“Carla is helping me to quiet the internal dialogue that has been holding me back in my career and relationships. Working with her has helped me to embrace my strengths which, in 10 weeks dramatically shifted my role as a leader, my relationship with my business partner, husband, and clients. I know that this is JUST the beginning!”

– Heather W.
“Meeting Carla was like divine serendipity – she and I met just prior to one of the most challenging and life-changing years of my life. Carla assisted me with tools and meaningful conversations that helped me make my chaotic life manageable. She provided tools to allow me to keep the truth of situations center and my feelings in check. Carla helped me get out of my own way to see the bigger vision for my life. Her tools and techniques are always with me.”

– Kim P.
“Before coaching, I paid little attention to how much my thinking can change my reactions, emotions, and ultimately my decisions. Working with Carla has given me a whole new perspective on how powerful my own thinking and actions can be towards my happiness and success in all aspects of my life.”

– Christine Johnson
“The one thing I need to make sure I feel aligned and connected to myself.”

– Carolyn Crouse

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