Turn Negative Thoughts into Powerful Questions

Apr 23, 2020

Turn Negative Thoughts into Powerful Questions

Have you ever noticed how a single thought can send you spinning or sinking for hours?  Maybe you woke up feeling great and thirty minutes later you’re wondering what happened – when all that really happened is your thinking sunk into a spiral of despair that began with a single thought. Rest assured, it’s human AND you can build the muscle to turn yourself around more quickly.  Here’s how.

Often when I’m coaching one of my clients – they get on the call feeling really stuck or down about something and after giving them a place to unpack what they’re thinking I can see the source of their struggle.  They’re focused on what they DON’T want and its left them feeling powerless.   As humans, it’s easy to get focused on what we don’t want, but mind-blowing things happen when we turn our focus to what we DO want.

When this happens to you – making a slight pivot can take you from feeling stifled to empowered in a matter of minutes.

It might look like this….

“I’m worried my work will dry up next month. ”  –>
Yes, maybe that’s a possibility, but what is it that I DO want?  Describe it.
Then, what is within my control to increase the likelihood of my ideal outcome?

“I don’t think this idea is going to fly.”  –>
If it did fly, what would that look and feel like?  What can I do to give it the best wings possible?

“I feel anxious, stressed, and cooped up.” –>
OK.  What would feel a little or a lot better?  What can I do to create that feeling right now?

“I don’t want them to think I’m _______.”  –>
Remind yourself that what THEY think is really none of your business or within your control.
Then, ask yourself – How do I want to be seen?  What can I do or be to make sure I bring that quality or value to the next conversation or encounter?

“I’m afraid things aren’t going to work out. ” (a new job, a relationship, etc..) –-> 
Sure, it might not, but what if it does? What does working out look like?  Describe it.  What can I do right now to increase the likelihood of that becoming a reality?

The key after turning the negative thought into powerful questions is to look for the action that follows – and take it!

Try it right now. Take one persistent negative thought and turn it into a powerful question that gives you mobility.

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Testimonials

“Carla and I had an instant connection. On the surface, I had everything going for me. I was doing well in my career, I had recently come out to my family and was welcomed with open arms, I was in a healthy relationship, and I had just finished an Ironman triathlon. But internally, I was in a constant state of angst. Was I in the right career? Was this one the right one? Carla helped equip me with the tools I needed to understand not only why I felt a certain way but also why I act the way I do. We then created a better version of myself to navigate life.”

– Will B.
“From professional discussions to personal development, the tools I learned throughout my work with Carla has helped me deepen relationships, let go of stress and find presence and energy. Coaching from Carla has allowed me to see situations in a clear light due to the thought process I’m practicing regularly. I would suggest Carla and her coaching to anyone that is looking to stretch his or her mindset, abilities and wants to better him or herself.”

– Cara L.
“Before coaching with Carla, I was stuck in a rut- telling myself old stories that were holding me back- spiraling in negative self-talk. I believed that my worth was tied to my vocation.
Over the course of 3 months, I gained a renewed confidence in myself, my work, and my relationships. I learned how to change my steps, unravel old stories and be honest about what I want to shift and now I’m experiencing a wave of growth like never before. I’m sticking up for myself and showing others how I’d like to be treated. I’m genuinely able to help friends and family again-not because I want something in return, but because I truly want them to succeed. I’m showing up for myself and others and it feels good. That’s probably the biggest take-away. I feel good.”

– Frances K.
“This work is like having a constant hand on your back supporting you. Carla is nurturing, kind and caring. More importantly she has a way of simplifying things that feel big and heavy and helping you see them in a way that is light and empowering. She has so many tools in her arsenal and really caters her guidance based on your needs.

Prior to working with Carla I felt like my life was slipping away and I was on the sidelines watching it. After re-framing old thinking and creating my commitments, I feel connected to others and have deeper relationships with husband, kids and friends. I am experiencing my life and living intentionally. It’s something that I have to work on daily, but it’s getting easier and more natural.”

– Lyndsay C.
“I have had my eyes opened to an entirely new way of thinking. Carla helped me uncover what was causing many of the challenges in my professional and personal life. With Carla’s insight, coaching framework and ongoing guidance we worked toward a new solution that helped me overcome these challenges and let go of the guilt, frustration and disappointment I was constantly feeling. We got to the root of these deeper feelings and I took actionable steps to take back control. As a result, I was able to nearly immediately increase two client retainers, strengthen my relationships with clients and most importantly be happier in my daily routines.”

– Karen C.
“Carla has been a tremendous blessing in my life. She provides the words of wisdom that I know I need but sometimes have trouble finding within myself. Our multi-year journey has brought me order, direction, vision, and happiness. From running a company to improving important relationships, Carla has been a steadfast sage and source of comfort. I recommend her to anyone I can.”

– Teddy Jones
“Working with Carla is like going on vacation. I can see things more clearly and think outside myself. She brings out these good thoughts in me and helps me move my life forward.”

– Heather L.
“Even after working w/ Carla for 2 years, I still feel like each session I have with her results in a positive shift in my perspective. The tools she has taught me have become indispensable in my efforts to build a truly unique life.”

– William Crouse, Producer
“My life before coaching was unbalanced, out of control and I felt overwhelmed. I have always been positive and focused and in control so these feelings were very challenging. I went through some life changing events and was struggling to move forward. I worked through old pain, to think differently, and relieve myself of unnecessary pressures that were weighing me down and holding me back. My relationships grew stronger. I became happier and more focused, balanced and content. I feel like a better version of myself.”

– Stacy M.
“Carla’s coaching increased my professional productivity and enhanced my personal awareness enormously. Our sessions provide me with clarity about the most important things in my life and how to achieve them. Carla is a phenomenal and passionate coach who brings a unique perspective to every eye-opening encounter — the way you think about your life, changes your life!”

– Judith M., Sculptor
“Carla is helping me to quiet the internal dialogue that has been holding me back in my career and relationships. Working with her has helped me to embrace my strengths which, in 10 weeks dramatically shifted my role as a leader, my relationship with my business partner, husband, and clients. I know that this is JUST the beginning!”

– Heather W.
“Meeting Carla was like divine serendipity – she and I met just prior to one of the most challenging and life-changing years of my life. Carla assisted me with tools and meaningful conversations that helped me make my chaotic life manageable. She provided tools to allow me to keep the truth of situations center and my feelings in check. Carla helped me get out of my own way to see the bigger vision for my life. Her tools and techniques are always with me.”

– Kim P.
“Before coaching, I paid little attention to how much my thinking can change my reactions, emotions, and ultimately my decisions. Working with Carla has given me a whole new perspective on how powerful my own thinking and actions can be towards my happiness and success in all aspects of my life.”

– Christine Johnson
“The one thing I need to make sure I feel aligned and connected to myself.”

– Carolyn Crouse

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