Have you ever noticed how a single thought can send you spinning or sinking for hours? Maybe you woke up feeling great and thirty minutes later you’re wondering what happened – when all that really happened is your thinking sunk into a spiral of despair that began with a single thought. Rest assured, it’s human AND you can build the muscle to turn yourself around more quickly. Here’s how.
Often when I’m coaching one of my clients – they get on the call feeling really stuck or down about something and after giving them a place to unpack what they’re thinking I can see the source of their struggle. They’re focused on what they DON’T want and its left them feeling powerless. As humans, it’s easy to get focused on what we don’t want, but mind-blowing things happen when we turn our focus to what we DO want.
When this happens to you – making a slight pivot can take you from feeling stifled to empowered in a matter of minutes.
It might look like this….
“I’m worried my work will dry up next month. ” –>
Yes, maybe that’s a possibility, but what is it that I DO want? Describe it.
Then, what is within my control to increase the likelihood of my ideal outcome?
“I don’t think this idea is going to fly.” –>
If it did fly, what would that look and feel like? What can I do to give it the best wings possible?
“I feel anxious, stressed, and cooped up.” –>
OK. What would feel a little or a lot better? What can I do to create that feeling right now?
“I don’t want them to think I’m _______.” –>
Remind yourself that what THEY think is really none of your business or within your control.
Then, ask yourself – How do I want to be seen? What can I do or be to make sure I bring that quality or value to the next conversation or encounter?
“I’m afraid things aren’t going to work out. ” (a new job, a relationship, etc..) –->
Sure, it might not, but what if it does? What does working out look like? Describe it. What can I do right now to increase the likelihood of that becoming a reality?
The key after turning the negative thought into powerful questions is to look for the action that follows – and take it!
Try it right now. Take one persistent negative thought and turn it into a powerful question that gives you mobility.