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The Key to Vibrant Relationships

Mar 22, 2018

The Key to Vibrant Relationships

Imagine how dusty your home would be if you didn’t dust for months, or maybe even years.  Would you even recognize the once remarkable furniture you treasured finding so many years ago? Or see the charm and appeal that drove you to buy your home to begin with?

The same is true for your relationships.

It’s natural for dust to appear in relationships too, and over time the dust builds and eventually prevents us from seeing the magic that drew us together in the first place.

There are two things that can occur in relationships that cause this dust to build.

First, in relationships and life, it’s common for us to endure small upsets, misunderstandings, and thwarted expectations. We don’t address them at the time they happen, thinking they aren’t that big of a deal.  Those small upsets and misunderstandings are the dust of your relationship.

Second, we tend to avoid conversations, leave projects incomplete, promise something we never finish, etc.  Over time, these small things build up and if never addressed form a haze, cloud, or barrier to our aliveness and connection with others and the world around us.

This applies to romantic relationships, friendships, family and even your team, colleagues and co-workers.  It’s natural in relationships for stuff to happen, pile up and over time create a barrier in the connection.  But we all know that when our key relationships aren’t right – it impacts everything.

The good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way.  There are specific steps you can take to restore the connection and the magic and most important – keep it alive.

Imagine a relationship where you both have a commitment to clearing the dust.  This means that as things happen, instead of brushing it aside, you address it simply and directly and let it go. In some relationships it will only require you doing the initial work and then – as one of my clients said – “it’s contagious.”

I call this act “Sweeping”.


The Art of Sweeping

The art of sweeping might sound corny to some, but it has the potential to change the quality of your relationships forever. I never thought it was possible to fall in love over and over again….but, guess what? It is!  This is possible with your partner, your friends and even with yourself.  When you keep your own mind swept, you can keep falling in love with your life too.

The practice of sweeping is a commitment to addressing the little things as they happen or shortly after, so they don’t build up. This is key to keeping the spark alive in yourself, relationships and in your everyday life. Just like we must sweep and dust our homes, the same holds true in our life. This practice is a game changer!

Here’s how to get started “Sweeping”

1. Get out a notebook.  Look through your life and make a list of areas that need sweeping. Examples: Unfinished projects, things you are avoiding, promises you made but haven’t followed through on, incomplete conversations that you have been stewing on, etc…

2. Explore in your journal how you plan to “sweep” this area and write about the positive impact it will have to get it complete and let it go.

3. Continue to practice. Practice weekly and use this first month to create a plan for making this an ongoing habit in your life.

This is an incredible practice to harness and maximize your energy and is recommended on a regular basis. Unfinished business robs your precious energy. Imagine the places you can put this restored energy!

Here’s to sweeping your relationships and expanding love all over – not just this month, but a practice to keep for all your days.

Did something stand out to you?  Do you have a friend who would appreciate knowing about Sweeping?  If so, please pass this message along.

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“Carla and I had an instant connection. On the surface, I had everything going for me. I was doing well in my career, I had recently come out to my family and was welcomed with open arms, I was in a healthy relationship, and I had just finished an Ironman triathlon. But internally, I was in a constant state of angst. Was I in the right career? Was this one the right one? Carla helped equip me with the tools I needed to understand not only why I felt a certain way but also why I act the way I do. We then created a better version of myself to navigate life.”

– Will B.
“From professional discussions to personal development, the tools I learned throughout my work with Carla has helped me deepen relationships, let go of stress and find presence and energy. Coaching from Carla has allowed me to see situations in a clear light due to the thought process I’m practicing regularly. I would suggest Carla and her coaching to anyone that is looking to stretch his or her mindset, abilities and wants to better him or herself.”

– Cara L.
“Before coaching with Carla, I was stuck in a rut- telling myself old stories that were holding me back- spiraling in negative self-talk. I believed that my worth was tied to my vocation.
Over the course of 3 months, I gained a renewed confidence in myself, my work, and my relationships. I learned how to change my steps, unravel old stories and be honest about what I want to shift and now I’m experiencing a wave of growth like never before. I’m sticking up for myself and showing others how I’d like to be treated. I’m genuinely able to help friends and family again-not because I want something in return, but because I truly want them to succeed. I’m showing up for myself and others and it feels good. That’s probably the biggest take-away. I feel good.”

– Frances K.
“This work is like having a constant hand on your back supporting you. Carla is nurturing, kind and caring. More importantly she has a way of simplifying things that feel big and heavy and helping you see them in a way that is light and empowering. She has so many tools in her arsenal and really caters her guidance based on your needs.

Prior to working with Carla I felt like my life was slipping away and I was on the sidelines watching it. After re-framing old thinking and creating my commitments, I feel connected to others and have deeper relationships with husband, kids and friends. I am experiencing my life and living intentionally. It’s something that I have to work on daily, but it’s getting easier and more natural.”

– Lyndsay C.
“I have had my eyes opened to an entirely new way of thinking. Carla helped me uncover what was causing many of the challenges in my professional and personal life. With Carla’s insight, coaching framework and ongoing guidance we worked toward a new solution that helped me overcome these challenges and let go of the guilt, frustration and disappointment I was constantly feeling. We got to the root of these deeper feelings and I took actionable steps to take back control. As a result, I was able to nearly immediately increase two client retainers, strengthen my relationships with clients and most importantly be happier in my daily routines.”

– Karen C.
“Carla has been a tremendous blessing in my life. She provides the words of wisdom that I know I need but sometimes have trouble finding within myself. Our multi-year journey has brought me order, direction, vision, and happiness. From running a company to improving important relationships, Carla has been a steadfast sage and source of comfort. I recommend her to anyone I can.”

– Teddy Jones
“Working with Carla is like going on vacation. I can see things more clearly and think outside myself. She brings out these good thoughts in me and helps me move my life forward.”

– Heather L.
“Even after working w/ Carla for 2 years, I still feel like each session I have with her results in a positive shift in my perspective. The tools she has taught me have become indispensable in my efforts to build a truly unique life.”

– William Crouse, Producer
“My life before coaching was unbalanced, out of control and I felt overwhelmed. I have always been positive and focused and in control so these feelings were very challenging. I went through some life changing events and was struggling to move forward. I worked through old pain, to think differently, and relieve myself of unnecessary pressures that were weighing me down and holding me back. My relationships grew stronger. I became happier and more focused, balanced and content. I feel like a better version of myself.”

– Stacy M.
“Carla’s coaching increased my professional productivity and enhanced my personal awareness enormously. Our sessions provide me with clarity about the most important things in my life and how to achieve them. Carla is a phenomenal and passionate coach who brings a unique perspective to every eye-opening encounter — the way you think about your life, changes your life!”

– Judith M., Sculptor
“Carla is helping me to quiet the internal dialogue that has been holding me back in my career and relationships. Working with her has helped me to embrace my strengths which, in 10 weeks dramatically shifted my role as a leader, my relationship with my business partner, husband, and clients. I know that this is JUST the beginning!”

– Heather W.
“Meeting Carla was like divine serendipity – she and I met just prior to one of the most challenging and life-changing years of my life. Carla assisted me with tools and meaningful conversations that helped me make my chaotic life manageable. She provided tools to allow me to keep the truth of situations center and my feelings in check. Carla helped me get out of my own way to see the bigger vision for my life. Her tools and techniques are always with me.”

– Kim P.
“Before coaching, I paid little attention to how much my thinking can change my reactions, emotions, and ultimately my decisions. Working with Carla has given me a whole new perspective on how powerful my own thinking and actions can be towards my happiness and success in all aspects of my life.”

– Christine Johnson
“The one thing I need to make sure I feel aligned and connected to myself.”

– Carolyn Crouse

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