Self-Care is Boring

Jul 18, 2022

Self-Care is Boring

A couple months ago a client and I were talking about consistent, aligned actions and he shared an article with me.  

It caught my attention right away with this quote…

“True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice to
build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from.”

– Brianna Wiest

Right?  I have thought of writing a book called “Build a Life You Don’t Need to Escape”.  I found a kindred spirit, Nicole Linke (find out more about her below :))

I invited her to be a guest on the podcast.  We recorded, but, unfortunately, the audio was not usable. 🙁  So, with her permission, I am sharing some nuggets from our conversation.

To be honest, I cringe when I hear the word self-care.  Our culture has taken this in all kinds of directions, and most don’t feel true to me.

Nicole said… “We sometimes don’t realize that the actions we take in the name of self-care are actually the opposite of true self care.”  

Isn’t that true.  Often the thing that might feel like self-care in the moment becomes the thing that sets you farther back from your real dreams and goals.

Now, I’m not saying long baths, naps and pedicures are bad.  They’re not – in fact I love a bath, a nap and a pedicure.  But, when these are the only forms of self-care we know – we are missing out on another layer of care that will have longer and deeper impact in our lives.

“Self-care is discipline and requires doing boring things.” 

– Nicole Linke

This rings true.

Truly caring for your mind, spirit, body and soul requires discipline.  It requires knowing your big goals and then showing up in your daily life with choices that reflect those commitments even when it’s hard.  It requires choices that feel boring in the moment but add up to something your future self will thank you for doing.

“Boring, small choices over long extended periods of time really elevate your baseline for contentment and happiness where much of my life felt more like a rollercoaster.  Making choices that support my long-term vision has made this possible.”

– Nicole Linke

Here are some of the small, boring choices in my life…
  • going to bed early because that works for me
  • moving my body daily
  • have hard, but real conversations
  • showing up even when I don’t feel like it
  • choosing the healthier option of food more of the time
  • taking the next action in my business, even when I feel defeated
  • stop working – even when I could go and go and go
  • writing everyday for my well-being

These small things have allowed me to create some big, important things in my life…
  • A family and home where we like to be
  • A business I love and that serves people well
  • A marriage that after 20 years we still are falling in love

“It’s making choices that don’t give you instant gratification”. 

– Nicole Linke

These boring, sometimes hard choices are the steps that grow into your dreams and goals.

And, like she said, these choices build a new baseline for your well-being and that is what allows you the freedom to go, do, and create all the other fun stuff that makes up your life. 

Look to your own heart to determine what true self-care is for you.  

What boring choices would support your dreams and goals? 
What hard choices, over time, would build a life you wouldn’t have to escape?

Here’s to being boring where it matters!

Now, go be boring!

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