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Say No With Love

Sep 12, 2017

Say No With Love

If you want to say YES to living an amazing, rich, purpose-filled life – learning how to say NO is vital.

Do you catch yourself saying yes, when really you mean no?

Do you do so with justifications that sound like “I felt pressured”, “It’s the right thing to do”, “I love giving”, “I don’t know how to say no”, and on and on?

Of course, there are always instances where saying yes is the right thing for you to do and a choice you make.  For the sake of this post, we aren’t talking about those times.  This has nothing to do with being generous and charitable with our time and talent – because that does make a difference and nothing feels better than truly being available and of service to another human being.

This IS about altering patterns that leave you depleted, empty and wondering why people don’t ever stop asking for your time while your own priorities, purpose, and greatest joys are sluffed aside and moved to the bottom of the list.

This is where learning to say no is vital.

What if learning to say no doesn’t mean you are selfish, uncaring, or unwilling?  What if saying no is really an act of respect for yourself and others AND a choice to live with integrity and commitment to what you have declared is important?

That feels different, doesn’t it?

The real shift comes when you learn to use the word no in a way that is authentic and aligned with your truth and values.  This opens the door to saying YES when you mean yes and saying NO when you mean no.  It’s possible to say no with love.

Honoring no in your life makes room for bigger and grander YES’s.

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Testimonials

“Carla and I had an instant connection. On the surface, I had everything going for me. I was doing well in my career, I had recently come out to my family and was welcomed with open arms, I was in a healthy relationship, and I had just finished an Ironman triathlon. But internally, I was in a constant state of angst. Was I in the right career? Was this one the right one? Carla helped equip me with the tools I needed to understand not only why I felt a certain way but also why I act the way I do. We then created a better version of myself to navigate life.”

– Will B.
“From professional discussions to personal development, the tools I learned throughout my work with Carla has helped me deepen relationships, let go of stress and find presence and energy. Coaching from Carla has allowed me to see situations in a clear light due to the thought process I’m practicing regularly. I would suggest Carla and her coaching to anyone that is looking to stretch his or her mindset, abilities and wants to better him or herself.”

– Cara L.
“Before coaching with Carla, I was stuck in a rut- telling myself old stories that were holding me back- spiraling in negative self-talk. I believed that my worth was tied to my vocation.
Over the course of 3 months, I gained a renewed confidence in myself, my work, and my relationships. I learned how to change my steps, unravel old stories and be honest about what I want to shift and now I’m experiencing a wave of growth like never before. I’m sticking up for myself and showing others how I’d like to be treated. I’m genuinely able to help friends and family again-not because I want something in return, but because I truly want them to succeed. I’m showing up for myself and others and it feels good. That’s probably the biggest take-away. I feel good.”

– Frances K.
“This work is like having a constant hand on your back supporting you. Carla is nurturing, kind and caring. More importantly she has a way of simplifying things that feel big and heavy and helping you see them in a way that is light and empowering. She has so many tools in her arsenal and really caters her guidance based on your needs.

Prior to working with Carla I felt like my life was slipping away and I was on the sidelines watching it. After re-framing old thinking and creating my commitments, I feel connected to others and have deeper relationships with husband, kids and friends. I am experiencing my life and living intentionally. It’s something that I have to work on daily, but it’s getting easier and more natural.”

– Lyndsay C.
“I have had my eyes opened to an entirely new way of thinking. Carla helped me uncover what was causing many of the challenges in my professional and personal life. With Carla’s insight, coaching framework and ongoing guidance we worked toward a new solution that helped me overcome these challenges and let go of the guilt, frustration and disappointment I was constantly feeling. We got to the root of these deeper feelings and I took actionable steps to take back control. As a result, I was able to nearly immediately increase two client retainers, strengthen my relationships with clients and most importantly be happier in my daily routines.”

– Karen C.
“Carla has been a tremendous blessing in my life. She provides the words of wisdom that I know I need but sometimes have trouble finding within myself. Our multi-year journey has brought me order, direction, vision, and happiness. From running a company to improving important relationships, Carla has been a steadfast sage and source of comfort. I recommend her to anyone I can.”

– Teddy Jones
“Working with Carla is like going on vacation. I can see things more clearly and think outside myself. She brings out these good thoughts in me and helps me move my life forward.”

– Heather L.
“Even after working w/ Carla for 2 years, I still feel like each session I have with her results in a positive shift in my perspective. The tools she has taught me have become indispensable in my efforts to build a truly unique life.”

– William Crouse, Producer
“My life before coaching was unbalanced, out of control and I felt overwhelmed. I have always been positive and focused and in control so these feelings were very challenging. I went through some life changing events and was struggling to move forward. I worked through old pain, to think differently, and relieve myself of unnecessary pressures that were weighing me down and holding me back. My relationships grew stronger. I became happier and more focused, balanced and content. I feel like a better version of myself.”

– Stacy M.
“Carla’s coaching increased my professional productivity and enhanced my personal awareness enormously. Our sessions provide me with clarity about the most important things in my life and how to achieve them. Carla is a phenomenal and passionate coach who brings a unique perspective to every eye-opening encounter — the way you think about your life, changes your life!”

– Judith M., Sculptor
“Carla is helping me to quiet the internal dialogue that has been holding me back in my career and relationships. Working with her has helped me to embrace my strengths which, in 10 weeks dramatically shifted my role as a leader, my relationship with my business partner, husband, and clients. I know that this is JUST the beginning!”

– Heather W.
“Meeting Carla was like divine serendipity – she and I met just prior to one of the most challenging and life-changing years of my life. Carla assisted me with tools and meaningful conversations that helped me make my chaotic life manageable. She provided tools to allow me to keep the truth of situations center and my feelings in check. Carla helped me get out of my own way to see the bigger vision for my life. Her tools and techniques are always with me.”

– Kim P.
“Before coaching, I paid little attention to how much my thinking can change my reactions, emotions, and ultimately my decisions. Working with Carla has given me a whole new perspective on how powerful my own thinking and actions can be towards my happiness and success in all aspects of my life.”

– Christine Johnson
“The one thing I need to make sure I feel aligned and connected to myself.”

– Carolyn Crouse

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