From Feelings to Commitment (and Action)

Apr 01, 2020

From Feelings to Commitment (and Action)

The first quarter has come and gone. Perhaps you, like me, are mourning some of the dreams and ideas you set out with at the beginning of the year. Perhaps you’re saddened by the news or fearful of what is to come. You are not alone. I feel all this too.

I feel afraid. I’m mourning the loss of things I had been looking forward to, things my kids had been counting on. I feel uncertain about not knowing what is coming… I get uncomfortable without a clear plan. At the same time though, I also feel hopeful for something really good happening. I feel inspired by things: I’m enjoying the unstructured time at home with family, finding new ways to connect. I feel peaceful and I trust that God’s got this.

Feelings Can Co-exist
I feel all these things. How about you? It’s super normal to have lots of feelings right now (and always). I’ve learned over these last few years that it’s healthy to allow feelings to co-exist. When navigating deep sadness around the decline of my parents, I noticed there were joy-filled moments mixed in with the sadness. Instead of feeling like I had to stay in the pit of despair, I found that I could move between—and as I did, the joy had room to expand.

Feel the feelings. Just remember, they aren’t in charge. You are.

The key is what you do next. A client once made a great analogy: your feelings are like small children: you keep them strapped in the back seat when driving the car. They’re important and get to be heard, but they don’t sit in the front seat or drive the car—you do!

Keep Moving Forward: Commitments vs. Feelings
So, how do you keep the feelings in check? I’ve found it helpful to get really clear about what my commitments are. Because on any given day, my feelings can travel all over the place. It’s the commitments that ground me in action. If I know what I’m committed to, then I can show up and honor that commitment even when I don’t feel so inclined. I’ve found that when I do this, it avoids all the overthinking of whether I should, could, or want to. The next thing I know, I’m in action, then the action is complete and things are one step closer to that commitment or desired outcome. This works!

What would happen if you did this too? How might your day be different if you woke up with your big commitments in place, and then lined up your actions accordingly? The trick here is that your feelings WILL show up and try to derail you; your job is to return to your commitments again and again and simply take the next action in spite of those feelings.

So, in this season full of lots of feelings, ask yourself: Who do I want to be? What is it I want to remember about this time? What commitments can I make to stay on track?

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Testimonials

“Carla and I had an instant connection. On the surface, I had everything going for me. I was doing well in my career, I had recently come out to my family and was welcomed with open arms, I was in a healthy relationship, and I had just finished an Ironman triathlon. But internally, I was in a constant state of angst. Was I in the right career? Was this one the right one? Carla helped equip me with the tools I needed to understand not only why I felt a certain way but also why I act the way I do. We then created a better version of myself to navigate life.”

– Will B.
“From professional discussions to personal development, the tools I learned throughout my work with Carla has helped me deepen relationships, let go of stress and find presence and energy. Coaching from Carla has allowed me to see situations in a clear light due to the thought process I’m practicing regularly. I would suggest Carla and her coaching to anyone that is looking to stretch his or her mindset, abilities and wants to better him or herself.”

– Cara L.
“Before coaching with Carla, I was stuck in a rut- telling myself old stories that were holding me back- spiraling in negative self-talk. I believed that my worth was tied to my vocation.
Over the course of 3 months, I gained a renewed confidence in myself, my work, and my relationships. I learned how to change my steps, unravel old stories and be honest about what I want to shift and now I’m experiencing a wave of growth like never before. I’m sticking up for myself and showing others how I’d like to be treated. I’m genuinely able to help friends and family again-not because I want something in return, but because I truly want them to succeed. I’m showing up for myself and others and it feels good. That’s probably the biggest take-away. I feel good.”

– Frances K.
“This work is like having a constant hand on your back supporting you. Carla is nurturing, kind and caring. More importantly she has a way of simplifying things that feel big and heavy and helping you see them in a way that is light and empowering. She has so many tools in her arsenal and really caters her guidance based on your needs.

Prior to working with Carla I felt like my life was slipping away and I was on the sidelines watching it. After re-framing old thinking and creating my commitments, I feel connected to others and have deeper relationships with husband, kids and friends. I am experiencing my life and living intentionally. It’s something that I have to work on daily, but it’s getting easier and more natural.”

– Lyndsay C.
“I have had my eyes opened to an entirely new way of thinking. Carla helped me uncover what was causing many of the challenges in my professional and personal life. With Carla’s insight, coaching framework and ongoing guidance we worked toward a new solution that helped me overcome these challenges and let go of the guilt, frustration and disappointment I was constantly feeling. We got to the root of these deeper feelings and I took actionable steps to take back control. As a result, I was able to nearly immediately increase two client retainers, strengthen my relationships with clients and most importantly be happier in my daily routines.”

– Karen C.
“Carla has been a tremendous blessing in my life. She provides the words of wisdom that I know I need but sometimes have trouble finding within myself. Our multi-year journey has brought me order, direction, vision, and happiness. From running a company to improving important relationships, Carla has been a steadfast sage and source of comfort. I recommend her to anyone I can.”

– Teddy Jones
“Working with Carla is like going on vacation. I can see things more clearly and think outside myself. She brings out these good thoughts in me and helps me move my life forward.”

– Heather L.
“Even after working w/ Carla for 2 years, I still feel like each session I have with her results in a positive shift in my perspective. The tools she has taught me have become indispensable in my efforts to build a truly unique life.”

– William Crouse, Producer
“My life before coaching was unbalanced, out of control and I felt overwhelmed. I have always been positive and focused and in control so these feelings were very challenging. I went through some life changing events and was struggling to move forward. I worked through old pain, to think differently, and relieve myself of unnecessary pressures that were weighing me down and holding me back. My relationships grew stronger. I became happier and more focused, balanced and content. I feel like a better version of myself.”

– Stacy M.
“Carla’s coaching increased my professional productivity and enhanced my personal awareness enormously. Our sessions provide me with clarity about the most important things in my life and how to achieve them. Carla is a phenomenal and passionate coach who brings a unique perspective to every eye-opening encounter — the way you think about your life, changes your life!”

– Judith M., Sculptor
“Carla is helping me to quiet the internal dialogue that has been holding me back in my career and relationships. Working with her has helped me to embrace my strengths which, in 10 weeks dramatically shifted my role as a leader, my relationship with my business partner, husband, and clients. I know that this is JUST the beginning!”

– Heather W.
“Meeting Carla was like divine serendipity – she and I met just prior to one of the most challenging and life-changing years of my life. Carla assisted me with tools and meaningful conversations that helped me make my chaotic life manageable. She provided tools to allow me to keep the truth of situations center and my feelings in check. Carla helped me get out of my own way to see the bigger vision for my life. Her tools and techniques are always with me.”

– Kim P.
“Before coaching, I paid little attention to how much my thinking can change my reactions, emotions, and ultimately my decisions. Working with Carla has given me a whole new perspective on how powerful my own thinking and actions can be towards my happiness and success in all aspects of my life.”

– Christine Johnson
“The one thing I need to make sure I feel aligned and connected to myself.”

– Carolyn Crouse

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