I saw it in her eyes. She was so inspired by the new approach to time she had created and what it would mean to actually take charge of her time and make space for her dreams. And, then, in an instant, the excitement washed from her face as she thought of her most precious people – her husband, family and children….and what her changes would mean for them and her relationships with them.
“Would she disappoint them?
Would something be lost in their relationship?
And, quickly, fear and sadness set in.
This frequently happens when we think of making change in our lives. We default to thinking of what will be lost. These thoughts are so emotionally rooted that they can literally immobilize us to making the vital changes we know we need to make. What we overlook is how these vital changes are going to bless and add to our most precious relationships and what the people around us will GAIN from our positive changes.
I looked across the table at this workshop participant and said…”We tend to go right to the fear of losing something, but I want to invite you to consider this – What if your relationships will actually gain something by you making these positive changes? Her eyes got big and her body sat up as she absorbed this new perspective.
I invite you to consider this very idea too.
- What if you carving out space for what matters means the people around you get a more energized you when you are together?
- What if you saying no more often makes space to have bigger yes’s?
- What if you taking responsibility for your well-being and your deepest desires allows you to be more fully present and engaged when you are spending time with loved ones or on focused projects?
Consider that anything you lose in quantity; you will make up for it in quality – which I’m pretty sure you are ok with. 🙂
When you eliminate places in your life where you are going through the motions, living in auto pilot, saying yes because you’re expected to or feel obligated to – you harness energy that can be put in places that mean the most to you.
Back to the woman in my workshop. She lit up again as she considered what her loved ones might gain. She became energized by the idea of having bigger yes’s in her life. She left feeling lighter and inspired by the possibility she had created for her time and her dreams on the page of her notebook.
When you muster the courage to change and take 100% responsibility for what matters most to you – your energy goes up, your joy goes up, and your ability to enjoy the moment you are in goes up.
And, when making important changes in your life requires saying no or opting out of old outdated jobs – like saying yes to everything – you can opt out with tons of love for yourself AND for those around you. Often, making change requires teaching the people in our life how to be in relationship with us now.
I’m not suggesting that change is easy. I am saying that it’s vital to your spirit and its possible and can be done while keeping the relationships most important to you intact.
The fears of what we might lose MUST be closely examined. Are they real or fabricated? Shine a big bright light to discern for yourself. Fears left unexamined can keep us trapped in ways of living that are flat, draining or maybe even sucking the life out of us.
When you take the reins of your well-being and aliveness back – you win and so does everyone around you. Everyone wins from a more vibrant, alive, energized, present YOU!