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What Does It Mean to Love With Action?

Apr 19, 2018

What Does It Mean to Love With Action?

I’ve been observing my clients do the incredible work to clean up and clear out their lives – to live free of the past and more fully today. Every now and again, I observe them reach a point where they think the work should be done.  It’s the illusion that someday they will have done enough work and there won’t be any more to do.  Haven’t we all felt that way at times? The truth is this: living a great life, living remarkably, is created, cultivated and practiced. Constantly.

The commitment to working on, and in, your life and clearing things up as they happen is the very thing that keeps you alive and thriving. It’s a practice, not a perfect. It’s in this practice where life is rich and juicy and full of purpose and meaning.

This month I have observed so many beautiful moments, particularly my clients doing the work and seeing it brighten up their world and the world around them. I want to share one of those stories with you. As my client, Vee, shared this story during our call, tears rolled down my face. I left the conversation with the feeling that everyone needs to hear this message.

Vee has generously given her permission to share this story. Her story so beautifully demonstrates what’s possible when we are willing to do the important work in our everyday lives. Here’s what she had to share.

Up until the time my son was 27, life was relatively normal.  At age 27 things began to change.  Since then, he has had recurring episodes, related to a thought/emotional disorder, that have disrupted our life and left us all frustrated and scared. I have struggled with my adult son’s behavior since that time. Over the past few weeks something has changed. I credit this change to the decision I made for this year to be my transformation year…the year I become a better version of myself. 

I’ve been able to demonstrate my love for my son as opposed to simply saying I love you. My love has become active and this shift is creating a positive change in my son. I am now giving him heartfelt hugs daily. I realized that somewhere along the way I stopped showing my son love. I would hug him goodbye if I was leaving on a trip, but now, I am giving him daily hugs. I am finding things to appreciate about him every day. I am noticing things he does well and shedding light on it. It’s been so good. 

I am accepting where he is instead of expecting him to be a certain way because of his age. I am meeting him where he is, and from there, supporting him and his growth. I am pouring love and support into him just like I would if someone else came to me. My son is hurting, and I had not been able to see this before now. This big shift has BRIGHTENED up my son! Instead of hounding on what I expect of him, I am accepting that I may have to help my son for the rest of my life and that is ok. The battle between he and I stopped. Love really does transform. Our relationship is forever changed.

This is it.

This is the work.

This is where life happens.

This is what I am talking about.

So often we get stuck in a rut of going through the motions. We, just like Vee, have the power to create an interruption for the sake of something greater. From her commitment to be a bigger version of herself, came the opportunity to see the situation with her son with new eyes. With a new perspective, new actions became possible. It’s the moments when we bring greater awareness and change the dance that surprise and magic awaits.  It’s these small, profound shifts that have the power to change your world and ripple goodness into the world around you.

Living remarkably isn’t about having a perfect life – it’s about equipping yourself to live courageously, authentically and fully right where you are.

Is there an area of your life that is waiting for your attention?  What would your version of “love in action” look like? What’s one step you can take today?

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Testimonials

“Carla and I had an instant connection. On the surface, I had everything going for me. I was doing well in my career, I had recently come out to my family and was welcomed with open arms, I was in a healthy relationship, and I had just finished an Ironman triathlon. But internally, I was in a constant state of angst. Was I in the right career? Was this one the right one? Carla helped equip me with the tools I needed to understand not only why I felt a certain way but also why I act the way I do. We then created a better version of myself to navigate life.”

– Will B.
“From professional discussions to personal development, the tools I learned throughout my work with Carla has helped me deepen relationships, let go of stress and find presence and energy. Coaching from Carla has allowed me to see situations in a clear light due to the thought process I’m practicing regularly. I would suggest Carla and her coaching to anyone that is looking to stretch his or her mindset, abilities and wants to better him or herself.”

– Cara L.
“Before coaching with Carla, I was stuck in a rut- telling myself old stories that were holding me back- spiraling in negative self-talk. I believed that my worth was tied to my vocation.
Over the course of 3 months, I gained a renewed confidence in myself, my work, and my relationships. I learned how to change my steps, unravel old stories and be honest about what I want to shift and now I’m experiencing a wave of growth like never before. I’m sticking up for myself and showing others how I’d like to be treated. I’m genuinely able to help friends and family again-not because I want something in return, but because I truly want them to succeed. I’m showing up for myself and others and it feels good. That’s probably the biggest take-away. I feel good.”

– Frances K.
“This work is like having a constant hand on your back supporting you. Carla is nurturing, kind and caring. More importantly she has a way of simplifying things that feel big and heavy and helping you see them in a way that is light and empowering. She has so many tools in her arsenal and really caters her guidance based on your needs.

Prior to working with Carla I felt like my life was slipping away and I was on the sidelines watching it. After re-framing old thinking and creating my commitments, I feel connected to others and have deeper relationships with husband, kids and friends. I am experiencing my life and living intentionally. It’s something that I have to work on daily, but it’s getting easier and more natural.”

– Lyndsay C.
“I have had my eyes opened to an entirely new way of thinking. Carla helped me uncover what was causing many of the challenges in my professional and personal life. With Carla’s insight, coaching framework and ongoing guidance we worked toward a new solution that helped me overcome these challenges and let go of the guilt, frustration and disappointment I was constantly feeling. We got to the root of these deeper feelings and I took actionable steps to take back control. As a result, I was able to nearly immediately increase two client retainers, strengthen my relationships with clients and most importantly be happier in my daily routines.”

– Karen C.
“Carla has been a tremendous blessing in my life. She provides the words of wisdom that I know I need but sometimes have trouble finding within myself. Our multi-year journey has brought me order, direction, vision, and happiness. From running a company to improving important relationships, Carla has been a steadfast sage and source of comfort. I recommend her to anyone I can.”

– Teddy Jones
“Working with Carla is like going on vacation. I can see things more clearly and think outside myself. She brings out these good thoughts in me and helps me move my life forward.”

– Heather L.
“Even after working w/ Carla for 2 years, I still feel like each session I have with her results in a positive shift in my perspective. The tools she has taught me have become indispensable in my efforts to build a truly unique life.”

– William Crouse, Producer
“My life before coaching was unbalanced, out of control and I felt overwhelmed. I have always been positive and focused and in control so these feelings were very challenging. I went through some life changing events and was struggling to move forward. I worked through old pain, to think differently, and relieve myself of unnecessary pressures that were weighing me down and holding me back. My relationships grew stronger. I became happier and more focused, balanced and content. I feel like a better version of myself.”

– Stacy M.
“Carla’s coaching increased my professional productivity and enhanced my personal awareness enormously. Our sessions provide me with clarity about the most important things in my life and how to achieve them. Carla is a phenomenal and passionate coach who brings a unique perspective to every eye-opening encounter — the way you think about your life, changes your life!”

– Judith M., Sculptor
“Carla is helping me to quiet the internal dialogue that has been holding me back in my career and relationships. Working with her has helped me to embrace my strengths which, in 10 weeks dramatically shifted my role as a leader, my relationship with my business partner, husband, and clients. I know that this is JUST the beginning!”

– Heather W.
“Meeting Carla was like divine serendipity – she and I met just prior to one of the most challenging and life-changing years of my life. Carla assisted me with tools and meaningful conversations that helped me make my chaotic life manageable. She provided tools to allow me to keep the truth of situations center and my feelings in check. Carla helped me get out of my own way to see the bigger vision for my life. Her tools and techniques are always with me.”

– Kim P.
“Before coaching, I paid little attention to how much my thinking can change my reactions, emotions, and ultimately my decisions. Working with Carla has given me a whole new perspective on how powerful my own thinking and actions can be towards my happiness and success in all aspects of my life.”

– Christine Johnson
“The one thing I need to make sure I feel aligned and connected to myself.”

– Carolyn Crouse

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